People
are really bad at risk analysis. They are scared to take a plane or
swim in the ocean but drive to work every day, though car accidents
are pretty high up there on the list
of causes of death and Wikipedia doesn't even include “plane
crashes” or “eaten by sharks.”
But
not only do we chose the wrong things to worry about, we also get the
amount of worry wrong. “Better safe than sorry,” we say, and to a
certain extent that's true. But the adage leaves something out: there
is a downside to too much
safety. After a certain point, we have to ask ourselves “Is it
worth it? Are the downsides greater than the upsides?”
We
all know by now that children
need to play in dirt to develop healthy immune systems.
Helicopter moms running around with hand sanitizer aren't actually
doing their babies any favors. And what about giving your children
independence? I didn't have a curfew, and the fact that my parents
treated me as responsible meant I never did anything bad with it. I
did plenty of other stupid things with my independence unrelated to
curfews, but I learned from them, and feel a lot more prepared for
real life because of that.
Risk
is a part of life. Without accepting that fact, you can't do much of
anything. You can't learn to drive, go backpacking, travel, or even
step outside – who knows when a meteorite might just crush you, or
you might “catch a cold.” (Ahem: “getting
chilled or wet is not a cause of common colds” thank you
webmd.) You always run a risk of dying, whether from illness or
murder or the rare freak accidents people warn you about. Since you
know you're mortal, you may as well have fun during the one life you
have. By this I don't mean that you ought to be reckless and fearless
because you're going to die anyway so you might as well die young. I
just mean that there's a balance between too safe and too reckless,
and I think that most people are too far on the safe side and don't
experience a lot of fun things just because they're more scared than
they should be.
The
reason I'm writing this is because people tell me all the time that I
shouldn't go walking or running at night by myself. I know that they
are just concerned for my safety and I appreciate that they're trying
to look after me, so this is not meant as a rant against them. But I
have a lot of problems with this advice: first of all, it's just
really not that dangerous. I go running on the Lakeshore path which
is dark and in the woods. I'd feel far less safe walking through a
city at night. There are no mentally unstable hobos who hang out in
the woods, though there are many on State Street (downtown Madison).
The only people I encounter are other late-night runners and bikers,
usually college students. Out of all the places I could be late at
night – a frat party, walking downtown, with dangerously drunk
people – I think alone in the woods is honestly pretty safe.
Secondly,
I think it's wrong to pick on being alone. I've often had guys offer
to walk me home or go running with me so I wouldn't be by myself.
Unless it's someone I know very well, I tend to turn them down. It's
much safer to be on your own than alone with one guy, especially if
he's been drinking. Most rapes aren't committed by crazy people
jumping out of the bushes and attacking late-night runners. About 2/3
of the time the rapist is someone the victim already knows – if
you click through that link there are more interesting statistics on
that. I'm not being stubbornly reckless by walking home alone, I'm
being safe by refusing to let a guy walk me home.
And
lastly, I don't want to let my life be ruled by fear. I don't want to
not do as I please because I'm afraid of other people doing something
bad to me. This is especially true because I feel that the danger is
hyped up, that rape and murder stories are good media shock stories
that generate a lot of emotion and stick in people's memories and get
into our heads more than they should. (I defy you, media! Sincerely,
a rebellious teenager.)
I
also want to mention the danger in conflating “steps to take to be
safe” with “victim-blaming.” If something bad happens, it won't
be my fault – it would be the fault of the person who does it to
me. I don't want to be one of the many people contributing to the
idea that rape is the victim's fault if they were “being stupid”
by not taking the proper precautions – walking alone at night,
wearing provocative clothing, etc. That idea is disgusting and every
woman has the right to do what she wants without being sexually
assaulted. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't take precautions when
we can if it's worth it.
So,
I acknowledge that I could take more steps to be safe, steps which I
think are unnecessary. The statistics are on my side that going
running at night is a fairly low-risk pleasure of mine. Granted,
there is some risk, and I choose to accept the risk that comes with
late-night runs. Unfortunately, there are rapists out there. But I
refuse to let them take away my enjoyment of the woods at night and
the stars out at Picnic Point and the ice-cold air in my lungs. This
is my life, and I’ll live it how I want to. And next time you want
to look out for my safety, just tell me to never get in a car again.
